So, me and Mr B have had an on/off, up and down kind of relationship.  It was completely stalled after Christmas when he told me he’d met someone else, and it was pretty messy, to say the least.  He was a git for leading me on to think that it might ever develop into anything more than it was ever going to be – in his eyes, anyway. And I was rather unfair to him, in hindsight.  He went so far as ‘blocking’ me on Facebook! How DARE he?!  Needless to say, once, twice, or even 3 times bitten ( I can’t help going back…), I have learnt my lesson, and vowed never to get involved to that extent again – with him.

So, you can imagine my surprise, when he contacted me at work to see if there was any snow where we are (there wasn’t then but there is now), and we had a bit of a chat which developed into him being a bit cheeky, and I could kind of see where it was going to go.  The sadist in me now wants to see how far I can take it, since he was very clear about not getting involved only 2 or 3 months ago….

As you would expect, it went the usual way – men cannot resist, especially if they know that it will be reciprocated.  I still don’t think there was anyone else.  I think he knew it was getting too close and got scared, called time on it with an excuse he knew would hit hardest, but I’m not convinced it was the truth.

Later on, at home, we got to discussing being cold, being warmed up, etc, etc…..until he fell asleep!

But, he texted the following morning to apologise – he was always rather good at getting straight back in touch, not leaving you thinking ‘text me back, damn you!’ Plus, because I am not entirely bothered by whether he does, or doesn’t respond, it’s quite nice that he does, and the game continues…..

Is he playing me at the same time as I’m playing him? Who knows? But I’m eager to find out.

I don’t want to punish him, as he is a really nice bloke, but at the same time, he needs to know he can’t just go back down the same path he told me not to, not so very long ago.

I’ve said it before: men – led by their cocks….

I got an email the other day, from an old contact who is now across the water in San Francisco.  I met him when he came to work in the UK, and then he swiftly retreated to SF because working in the US was decidedly preferable for him – no contest really: cold, miserable England or warm, sunny California – not a difficult one really.

But, in the short time he was here, he met me.  Unfortunately for him, he made his intentions known after he’d gone back, silly man….

That was last January.  And he spent the next few months teasing me by text, telling me all of the things he was going to do to me in August, when he was due to visit his parents (who still live in the UK).

He’s married with 2 children – from what I can gather, she wanted to go back to the US, but his family are here, and it made it difficult for them – but they’re all back there now, and most likely enjoying the warmth and good life that California offers….. Obviously, he still has a need for an extra-marital fling, by text/email/whatever, he certainly never came true on his promise of coming to see me last August.  Pity really, as he did a LOT of groundwork!

He was also supposed to come over at Christmas, and meet me for a coffee – by this point, I was very much back to him being an acquaintance, rather than any sort of sex interest: in my mind, he’d used up all his lives in that respect….

Also a shame, because at one point he even sent me a picture of his cock!  He’s the only man, so far, who’s done this.  Although, from what I surmised, he had taken a lot of coke at that point, as that was the finale to a morning (for me), an evening (for him) – there’s obviously an 8 hour time difference – of utter filth where he told me exactly, in no uncertain terms, what he wanted to do to me when he got hold of me in August….it all sounded very good to me, so, as I say, a real shame it never came off!

And that’s kind of where we were up to, until a couple of days ago: intermittent emails and the occasional text message, to which I responded, as a friend, but he, invariably, didn’t, which fuelled the fire of me thinking that if he couldn’t be arsed, then neither could I.

He’d emailed me about someone at work, to find out what had happened to them, I emailed back, and the next thing I knew, he’d left me a voicemail, asking me to call him when I was free.  Which I did, and we had a good ‘catch up’ conversation, during which, among other things, I mentioned I was getting a new car and we joked about me giving him a lift if he ever bothered to turn up when he said he would, or answer texts/emails, etc.

Put the phone down and a minute later, a text:

‘my willy is hard’….

‘so it should be – you should keep in touch more often’

‘you should have touched it that time you were bending over in that little office….’

‘You should have told me what you were thinking then I might have had a feel’

‘should have had you in that office’

‘shoulda, woulda, coulda….Must try harder Mr D – you need to put words into action’

‘you should have put your mouth into action’

‘touche – given the opportunity I would have’

‘ooh now I can’t get out of my chair’

‘Well just imagine if I was between your legs….undoing your zip….’

‘having a feast on my mansnake (seriously….) – watch his eye he sometimes spits (so corny)……does your camera work?’

‘good job my months’s open…..and yes my camera works, but I’m taking my mouth, tongue and everything else to bed now, gotta be up early – does your camera work?’

‘it does.  Lets resume this after the weekend so my mrs doesn’t see my swollen penis with suck here written on it.  Off for a quick wank now.  I’ll be thinking of you at work tomorrow.  Shame I’m not there to pass the time’

‘it is a shame, but think about my nice warm tongue sucking you off….TBC….’

As I say, ‘to be continued….’

I’ve had an on/off, teasing relationship with a guy called Mr F.  We have, over the past year or so, messaged each other via FB and at work, having had quite smutty conversations – he always wanted pictures…. However, he’s the sort of guy that doesn’t really go in for a lot of description and ‘chat’, preferring to get to the point, whilst he had a hard on…..

We met up over Christmas, just for a coffee, although he wanted more (in his car), but I, although tempted, declined on that occasion.  Then, we made a very loose arrangement for me to spend the night at his a couple of weeks ago, on the premise of my being on a 2 day work course – with an overnight stay.  This didn’t happen as he never sent me his address, and I didn’t ask, thinking that if he wanted me to go and see him, it was up to him to let me know where he lived!

He contacted me after to ask why I hadn’t come….and I explained the above, his response being: ‘shall we just leave it then?’

So we did.  But I knew he would be up for it, given the opportunity.  Plus, I find him rather attractive because he is so aloof – he is also a policeman….. 

Anyway, I realised I’d be in his neck of the woods yesterday, so I messaged him to see if he was free – of course he was, and I made my way over to his place after what can only be described as a rather shit day at work.

We had joked that we were meeting for ‘coffee’ so I insisted he made me one, but it was vile, so I left it and he took me on a tour of his flat – you know where this is going……

Oh my god – why had I not made the effort to meet up with him before?  Talk about good, hard, fast sex.  Just what I needed.  I feel turned on just thinking about it.  And, I want to do it again….

Mr F – so relaxed about the whole thing, but wow, pretty good, all things considered.

Of course, as expected, no contact from him today, and I think he he has slight concerns about my circumstances – doesn’t want anyone to get hurt.  My response: no strings, just fun, lets do it again…. Hope I do get to do it again, it was the best illicit sex I’ve had because there are no strings, it’s all in confidence, a mutually beneficial relationship that is just (very good) sex.

 

Contact with Mr Dubai has been a little erratic over the past week or so, during which time I have been asked by an old acquaintance to hook up again.  I’m afraid I declined as despite the acquaintance being an old one, he is not old in age (23 years old, and rather immature, despite having some very sexy tattoos), and when we last met it was a rather horrible experience for me…. I’m sure I’ll tell you about it at some point, but not now – Mr Dubai is infinitely more interesting and hot.

So, last night, I noticed a new photo of him on Facebook: wearing a very tight wetsuit.  Of course I messaged him to say that I rather liked his very tight pants and that he looked VERY nice….

‘flattery will get u a long way’

I asked if the wetsuit was the male equivalent of Spanx – he jokes that he has a ‘Dubai tyre’ from eating out all the time, which is why he’s taken up running – and the conversation continued….

Me: ‘you just need to get lots of exercise and eat things that are good for you’ (thinking that he’ll get that at the end of the month)

Mr D: ‘you’ll do for me and I’ll get you on some protein shakes’

Me: ‘I hope so – I do eat a lot of salad, I need some meat to make up for it’

‘Well you can have as much as you like….well as much as I can manage’

‘I know I can, looking forward to sampling your kind of protein’

‘Protein shots’

‘And cocktails? I love a nice cocktail, especially sour ones, such as Dirty Juice, variations of Orgasms, Porn Star Martinis, French Martinis (I love)…’

‘I like creamy ones – actually talking cocktails now – love a good White Russian’

Next morning: I noticed he’d changed his profile picture to the wetsuit, so I messaged to compliment him on it, and to joke that too many White Russians are where his ‘tyre’ comes from.

He responded that my profile pic (my legs), was also very nice, and that he looked forward to licking them all the way up to the top.

‘Would you like that with cream? Can be arranged’

‘would be no good for my diet’

‘I’ll have the cream, you can have the juice…’

Then he asked if I’d made arrangements to get away on Easter weekend, so I said not to worry, all taken care of – I was coming to Leeds for a run, a day of shopping, then a night out staying with a friend….

At which point:

‘Just had to leave pool to come have a wank’

‘need any help with that?’

‘wanna film you’

‘oh really? You know that’s just made me feel very warm….’

‘Fuck, I want your cheating pussy’

‘I want your cock hard and rammed into me’

‘Just came loads’

And that’s it….for today….4 weeks and counting….

So, I’m at work, out in the sticks, haven’t heard anything from Mr Dubai since yesterday, and a message comes through at about 4pm: something about licking up his cum…. I had decided to deliberately NOT contact him.  And he couldn’t resist, eventually…..

And so, an interesting journey home developed: I had to keep pulling over as I was getting rather warm, and the messages were coming through thick and fast.  He told me that I give him ‘motivation for (his) wanks’, I told him I liked that he thought of me while he wanked – a real turn on….

When I got home I was starving! I told him this and he said he had come in his pants with his girlfriend sat next to him!  Nice….. But very empowering to know you have that power from all those miles away, even more of a turn on.

Then we discussed the 3some again: ‘after we’ve had our one on one, we’ll have to find someone to join us…’  

‘Not my field of expertise’ said I, ‘let’s just enjoy each other and if the opportunity for that presents itself, all the better’ (as if….!)

‘Sounds like a plan’ he said.

And planning ‘IS my area of expertise: especially how, where and when we’re going to fuck – you just find a room for us to do it in’

To which he replied ‘yes boss’.

4 weeks, and counting…….

So, now Mr S (Mr Dubai) has expressed a preference for shagging in dark alleys….

Bending me over and holding me by my hair while he fucks me from behind….

He also doesn’t mind if anyone sees ‘they can film it for all I care’….

Then he asked if I’d ever had a threesome….I said not, had he?  He also said not, but it was ‘on the bucket list’.  Interesting ‘why on the ‘bucket list’? Why not on the ‘things to do before you’re 40′ list?’, I asked.  If that’s the case, ‘why not the ‘things to do before Easter’ list?’, said he…

Hmmm, no reason not to, I guess….

Also on his ‘bucket list’: getting into the mile-high club.  Unfortunately, I don’t have a spare plane for that one…. So we’ve settled for shagging in alleys, in the back of cars, hotel rooms, woods… I think that’s OK, don’t want to get carried away, do we…?

I never thought that I was that attractive: I was never the popular girl at school, if anything, one of the least popular.  At college, I just got on with being a kind of hippy-goth type weirdo, not thinking about others perception of me – I just wanted to be ‘different’, ‘quirky’, I guess.

I certainly did my share of sleeping around – after leaving school and moving away to college, I was like ‘wow – a whole world of men out there!’, and I made the most of it.  I also went out with a few arseholes along the way – you know, not just one night stands, like 1 or 2 years worth of the same arsehole.

But then I met SP, JP’s dad, and I knew I wanted him in a different kind of way.

We did it properly: he knew I fancied him, I knew he fancied me, so our friends got us together – it was all very sweet – we really clicked.  Needless to say, we are still together now, after 17 years.

But, I think you get complacent after a while: you’ve been with that same person for so long that you get comfortable with them, because all that matters is what they think of you – no one else comes close, until you discover a new found confidence in yourself – and that’s what happened when I started to run….

I was a little overweight before getting pregnant, and after having JP, I didn’t really know how to go about losing the extra weight I’d put on.  But when he was nearly 5, running and CONFIDENCE: sexy, attractive confidence, came into my life, that only comes from losing 2 stones and going from a size 12-14, to a lovely skinny size 8.

I fell in love with my body again – the only other time I really noticed that I liked the way I looked, was when I was heavily pregnant – I think women’s bodies are so beautiful when they have a little child inside.  It’s so basic and human.

Being attractive is only half of the story: if you don’t have the confidence to go with it, you miss out on so much – I should know.  Confidence in myself and my sexuality has meant the I say things I perhaps shouldn’t say (but get away with it), and do things I definitely shouldn’t do – but I’m having so much fun, it’s almost intoxicating at times.

I love the person I am at the moment, and have one more year before the big 4-0, to squeeze in ‘all the things I should do before I’m 40’, and I fully intend to – watch this space.